Let's workshop this poem concerning a "neurotypical" man's shame about loving a down syndrome girl, and the ways he had mistreated her in the past because of this shame.
Let's workshop this poem about the disturbing complexities of memory, guilt, and the inescapable shadows of the past. "On the Forest Trail" unfolds in three parts, each delving deeper into the narrator's unsettling relationship with a girl who, despite her mental and physical challenges, exerts a haunting influence on his psyche. The first section vividly portrays her grotesque behaviors—hoarding and devouring Tootsie Rolls in hidden nooks, bouncing on a piss-soaked mattress, and plunging her head into a freezing stream. The narrator's recollection is a blend of horror and fascination, as he watches her engage in these acts with an almost primal intensity, her cross-eyed glare a challenge to his gaze. These images, though momentarily savored, are quickly overwhelmed by the relentless repetition of her actions.
In the second section, the poem shifts to the forest trail, where the narrator finds a strange comfort in her presence. Her cat-piss scent and sour musk are described in almost endearing terms, a bubble within which the narrator feels no need to think or speak. The girl, with her hypotonic movements and vacant expression, embodies a pure, unfiltered existence—tethered tightly to the present, untouched by the expectations and complexities that burden the narrator. This section explores a perverse envy the narrator feels towards her simplicity and detachment, contrasting his own burdened consciousness with her "larval imbecility." The vivid, almost brutal description of their sexual encounter, where the narrator dehumanizes her into an object of grotesque satisfaction, reveals the depths of his moral decay. The scene is disturbing, filled with graphic details that reflect not just physical violation but a profound moral and emotional disintegration.
The final section reveals the long-lasting impact of these memories. The narrator is haunted by the image of her faded pink neon windbreaker, a relic from the past that symbolizes his enduring guilt and shame. He confesses to searching for similar windbreakers online, as if trying to reconnect with the lost object of his twisted affections, even as he imagines her still wearing it in the facility where she might now be dead. This windbreaker becomes a symbol of his cowardice, a reminder of how he allowed concern for his own reputation to override any sense of genuine love or responsibility. The poem concludes with a powerful admission of self-loathing, as the narrator acknowledges the deep sickness within him—his inability to prioritize love over the fear of being judged. This poem masterfully weaves together themes of guilt, memory, and moral failure, creating a complex and deeply unsettling exploration of the human psyche.
Let's workshop this poem about the disturbing complexities of memory, guilt, and the inescapable shadows of the past. "On the Forest Trail" unfolds in three parts, each delving deeper into the narrator's unsettling relationship with a girl who, despite her mental and physical challenges, exerts a haunting influence on his psyche. The first section vividly portrays her grotesque behaviors—hoarding and devouring Tootsie Rolls in hidden nooks, bouncing on a piss-soaked mattress, and plunging her head into a freezing stream. The narrator's recollection is a blend of horror and fascination, as he watches her engage in these acts with an almost primal intensity, her cross-eyed glare a challenge to his gaze. These images, though momentarily savored, are quickly overwhelmed by the relentless repetition of her actions.
In the second section, the poem shifts to the forest trail, where the narrator finds a strange comfort in her presence. Her cat-piss scent and sour musk are described in almost endearing terms, a bubble within which the narrator feels no need to think or speak. The girl, with her hypotonic movements and vacant expression, embodies a pure, unfiltered existence—tethered tightly to the present, untouched by the expectations and complexities that burden the narrator. This section explores a perverse envy the narrator feels towards her simplicity and detachment, contrasting his own burdened consciousness with her "larval imbecility." The vivid, almost brutal description of their sexual encounter, where the narrator dehumanizes her into an object of grotesque satisfaction, reveals the depths of his moral decay. The scene is disturbing, filled with graphic details that reflect not just physical violation but a profound moral and emotional disintegration.
The final section reveals the long-lasting impact of these memories. The narrator is haunted by the image of her faded pink neon windbreaker, a relic from the past that symbolizes his enduring guilt and shame. He confesses to searching for similar windbreakers online, as if trying to reconnect with the lost object of his twisted affections, even as he imagines her still wearing it in the facility where she might now be dead. This windbreaker becomes a symbol of his cowardice, a reminder of how he allowed concern for his own reputation to override any sense of genuine love or responsibility. The poem concludes with a powerful admission of self-loathing, as the narrator acknowledges the deep sickness within him—his inability to prioritize love over the fear of being judged. This poem masterfully weaves together themes of guilt, memory, and moral failure, creating a complex and deeply unsettling exploration of the human psyche.
MFYM, so dope!