The Violinist
Let’s workshop this poem about a father wrestling with feelings of obsolescence and pride in the nuclear light of his scion
scent of the day: Lagerfeld Classic, Karl Lagerfeld (a 1978 hairy-chest classic still in production but in a tad neutered form; Al Pacino’s scent to get into Montana role in Scarface and also apparently Michael Jackson’s in the Thriller era)
The Violinist He had pleaded for abortion (in fear a child would smother his art), but his son became the only other toenails he could nibble—and through his fury at being bested by a kid in ever-new areas (math, height, chess, even music) ominous joy crescendoed with time.
“The Violinist” is a layered exploration of the complicated relationship between an artist father and his son, marked by both resentment and unexpected joy. The opening lines, “He had pleaded for abortion / (in fear a child would smother / his art),” immediately introduce us to a father who views parenthood as a threat to his creative pursuits. This perspective frames the father’s identity, suggesting that his primary concern lies in preserving his autonomy and the freedom to create, unburdened by familial obligations. In choosing art over potential fatherhood, the father reveals his belief in the inherent conflict between creative freedom and parental responsibility.
Yet, the reality of fatherhood quickly defies these initial fears. His son, the very child he sought to avoid, becomes an unexpected source of both irritation and fulfillment. The father’s dread of being “smothered” by parental duties is inverted, as his son becomes the only other toenails he could “nibble.” This peculiar and intimate image suggests an oddly affectionate but predatory dynamic, where the father is simultaneously drawn to and threatened by the presence of his son. The act of “nibbling” evokes a primal connection, underscoring the interdependence that forms despite the father’s earlier reservations.
The poem skillfully captures the father’s ambivalence as the son grows, gradually surpassing him in various realms: “being bested by a kid / in ever-new areas (math, height, chess, / even music).” This passage reveals the father’s competitive nature, his sense of insecurity deepened by his son’s achievements. What was once a fear of being tied down becomes a more personal fear of inadequacy, as the son not only shares his interests (music) but surpasses him in them. The father’s identity, built upon his artistic ambitions, is challenged by the very person he once feared would hinder his growth.
Yet, the poem culminates in a complex emotional turn: “ominous joy / crescendoed with time.” This line evokes the musical metaphor of a crescendo, suggesting that the father’s emotions swell in intensity over time. The joy he experiences is “ominous,” tinged with darkness and perhaps an underlying anxiety about being outshone by his son. However, the fact that this joy exists at all points to the father’s realization that fatherhood, despite its challenges, has enriched his life. The competitive tension between father and son ultimately produces a deep, albeit fraught, bond, where pride and fear coexist. The poem masterfully portrays the complicated emotional landscape of fatherhood, capturing the father’s oscillation between fear of being overshadowed and pride in his son’s growth.
father-son competition, ambivalence in fatherhood, artistic ambition and family, surpassing parents, emotional complexity of parenthood, fear of inadequacy in fathers, familial intimacy and resentment, generational rivalry, creative tension in family relationships, interdependence of father and son.