MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017—part 33)
Let's workshop this stanza sequence about junkie vessels, God, prayer, dogs, nurses, euthanasia, dirt, pussy, gurus, death, infant faces of concern, religion, a destabilizing Adam's apple, birth trees
junkies, fibrotic even at the quirkiest needle sites, driveling over unspoiled vascularity one’s birth tree choked out by disease dogs returning to their vomit preferring the known of misery over the unknown of change scientists popping corks in the atomic glow tolerate no failure to smile Brenda’s Adam’s apple in the morning florescence of the hotel bathroom although we use it each day (and casually), our behavior shows that we find “dying” to be the most vile word in the language unkindled to laughter by the faces meant to make it laugh, and yet still taken in by the dedication of the attempts, the infant—deeper into reflective curiosity than it has ever been—takes on a distant smile, subtle like the furrows of its brow is that regular mode of life following a great victory a chance to reflect and reenergize, or one to wonder why you did not simply kill yourself in the climax? wearing a photo-mask of mom so the orphan will feed from the bottle traumas transmuting across generations without deliberate effort that same stock pattern of dolphin squeals in each TV episode lower than glue outlived by our favorite t-shirt a new name for moving beyond your past dirt, life-giver, is death in your hands the very same word had a different meaning just one block over an isolated farmer imprisoned for putting down his brother as he would any injured horse the absurdity of the drive to piston what amounts to mere holes stands out starkly especially to those who get all they want and to those who get none marathon weekends with gurus only to get to the heart of what makes people attend these things religions that ask a given self to discover its own nonexistence ask the impossible of that self
This is a portion of an ongoing mosaic poem called Made for You and Me. This portion is from the first installment: hive Being (Stanzas 2016-2020). More specifically, it is from the 2017 portion of that five-part work.
"Dogs returning to their vomit" Beautiful
In this excerpt from "Made for You and Me 2017," M. A. Istvan Jr. weaves together a series of poignant and thought-provoking observations, creating a tapestry of existential reflections and societal critiques. The mosaic of imagery and themes invites readers to delve into the complexities of human experience, touching on addiction, loss, resilience, and the quest for meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe.
The opening line, "junkies, fibrotic even at the quirkiest needle sites, driveling over unspoiled vascularity," immediately sets a tone of decay and desperation. The depiction of addicts, whose bodies bear the scars of their relentless search for veins, highlights the physical and psychological toll of addiction. The reference to "unspoiled vascularity" underscores a yearning for purity and normalcy, a stark contrast to their current state of degradation.
This theme of destruction extends to the natural world with "one’s birth tree choked out by disease." Here, Istvan juxtaposes the personal and the ecological, suggesting a parallel between the corruption of the body and the demise of nature. The imagery of a tree, a symbol of life and growth, succumbing to disease, evokes a sense of inevitable decline that pervades the poem.
The recurring motif of animals and their behaviors serves as a metaphor for human tendencies. "Dogs returning to their vomit" and "preferring the known of misery over the unknown of change" reflect a profound commentary on the human condition. These lines suggest a proclivity to cling to familiar suffering rather than embrace the uncertainty of transformation. The reference to scientists "popping corks in the atomic glow" adds a layer of irony, highlighting the dissonance between scientific celebration and the potential for catastrophic consequences, underscoring the tension between progress and ethical responsibility.
Istvan's exploration of identity and transformation continues with the image of "Brenda’s Adam’s apple in the morning florescence of the hotel bathroom." This line poignantly captures the vulnerability and complexity of gender identity, hinting at the personal struggles and societal judgments faced by those who do not conform to traditional norms. The morning light, often symbolic of new beginnings, here illuminates the ongoing challenges of self-acceptance and societal perception.
The poet's contemplation of mortality and language is evident in the lines, "although we use it each day (and casually), our behavior shows that we find 'dying' to be the most vile word in the language." This reflection on the aversion to death, despite its inevitability, highlights the paradoxical nature of human existence. The subsequent image of an infant, "unkindled to laughter by the faces meant to make it laugh," delving into reflective curiosity, underscores the innate human tendency towards introspection and the search for meaning, even from an early age.
The poem further examines the aftermath of triumph with "is that regular mode of life following a great victory a chance to reflect and reenergize, or one to wonder why you did not simply kill yourself in the climax?" This line starkly portrays the existential void that can follow significant achievements, questioning the purpose and fulfillment derived from success. The image of wearing a "photo-mask of mom so the orphan will feed from the bottle" evokes themes of deception and survival, illustrating the lengths to which individuals go to nurture and sustain life in the face of loss.
Istvan's meditation on generational trauma is evident in "traumas transmuting across generations without deliberate effort," suggesting the pervasive and enduring impact of past wounds on present and future lives. This notion of inherited pain resonates with the subsequent lines on the absurdity of human desires and the search for spiritual enlightenment, emphasizing the cyclical and often futile nature of these pursuits.
The poem concludes with a reflection on the self and the impossibility of fully transcending one's identity. "Religions that ask a given self to discover its own nonexistence ask the impossible of that self" encapsulates the tension between spiritual aspirations and the inherent limitations of human consciousness.
Istvan's "Made for You and Me 2017" is a profound exploration of human frailty, resilience, and the relentless quest for meaning amidst the chaos of existence. Through vivid imagery and poignant reflections, the poet invites readers to confront the darkest and most vulnerable aspects of their own humanity.
M. A. Istvan Jr., Made for You and Me 2017, existential reflections, addiction, identity, resilience, human experience, quest for meaning, societal critique, vivid imagery, poetry, generational trauma, spiritual enlightenment, human frailty, philosophical poetry.