Kardashian Razor
Let’s workshop this poem that wonders how long Armenian porn’s hirsute-feral standard—transportive, exoticism-preserving—can resist the diversity-killing hegemony of the West’s infant-bald standard.
scent of the day: Sayat Nova, by Bortnikoff (perfect for today’s poem)
Sayat Nova (2020, Dmitry Bortnikoff and Rajesh Balkrishnan)—a boozy-ashtray ode to the Armenian poet Sayat Nova—starts as an overripe apricot compote in a copper bowl (a syrupy stew, sunned and on the verge of rot, splashed with vanilla extract and brandy) but quickly morphs into a marzipan-apricot cigarillo
that, after having been dipped in that molasses-liqueur concoction and left on a sun-heated stone to cure into something smokable, produces a thick head of dark-gray apricot ash (the same smoky apricot ash of Rasasi’s Tobacco Blaze, only here less intense and with none of the bug-spray citronella associations),
the unlisted tobacco I pick up here—one of the main things, along with the sensation of ash, preventing this from collapsing into out-and-out boozy dessert—coming not from a tobacco absolute (like in its much-less-sweet sibling Tabac Dore) but rather from a narcissus absolute
whose wheat-bran-and-hay impression (a less powdery and less floral version of what Chergui delivers) is at once dampened and dirtied and darkened and doubled by an earthy-leathery combo of mushroom-patch oakmoss and three types of oud (Laotian oud, which lends a sweet feel of overripe fruit balled in charred barn-straw, Thai oud, which lends a smoky feel of moldy tobacco leaf, and Bengal oud, which lends a spicy feel of animal hide warmed by pepper and sun)—
the overall effect being a narcotic resin-fruit fragrance that, bent far (perhaps too far, at the expense of compositional stability) from modern pop perfumery and all of its remain-on-your clothes-for three-wash-cycles aromachemicals (annoying and pervasive and hope-killing as autotune), blends chypre elements (moss, leather, florals) and gourmand elements (apricot, vanilla, booze) to make for a skanky dessert with an antique wood feel rivaling the meditative quiet of Santa Sangre, a sweet sludge imagined by a hookah-toking monk in musty robes (his vows of silence having made him delirious with sensual memory);
the overall effect being, in more sober words, a fruity-wood fragrance that, upon an oud-moss-tinged base of resinous orientalism (labdanum, benzoin, vanilla), combines apricot and brandy and tobacco to honor, quite intelligently (pushing aside, of course, the heavy use of vanilla, which was culturally foreign to the Caucasus region at the time in question), the Armenian poet Sayat Nova (1712-1795):
apricot (also known as “Armenian Apple”) is the national symbol of Armenia (also known as “The Land of Apricots”) and Sayat Nova himself, better known perhaps for his use of the pomegranate (another big Armenian symbol), incorporated fruits like the apricot into his poetry as stand-ins for transience and erotic terrain;
brandy, particularly apricot brandy, was likely prominent in Armenia, which actually is known as the cradle of winemaking, during Sayat Nova’s time (and perhaps this is why, beyond just cultural-prestige marketing appeal, there currently exists a brandy that bears his name);
tobacco, a major part of the social milieu of Sayat’s era, was smoked in pipes during gatherings (although not yet in cigars), its dark bitter aroma steeping into clothes and carpets and lingering like remembered verse.
Kardashian Razor
Armenian porn pussy remains
overgrown (thigh creep
like Bluto’s jaw), but how long
until the gooseflesh monocrop
(already in HD on war-torn goat farms)
kills web travel
to pre-Soviet hearths
of creaky woodcraft where
we can suckle iron-fierce maternity?
"Kardashian Razor" is a poem that critically examines the interplay of globalized aesthetic standards, particularly within explicit media, and their impact on notions of authenticity, diversity, and cultural distinctiveness. The poem implicitly poses a question regarding the durability of specific, non-Western aesthetic forms against a perceived dominant, homogenizing influence.
Formally, the poem's concise structure and use of evocative, contrasting imagery contribute to its critical argument. The title, "Kardashian Razor," functions as a potent cultural signifier, immediately evoking contemporary Western beauty ideals often associated with a highly curated and specific aesthetic, implying a process of shaping or removal ("Razor"). This establishes the dominant cultural force that the poem interrogates. The opening lines, "Armenian porn pussy remains / overgrown (thigh creep / like Bluto’s jaw)," introduce a specific aesthetic standard characterized by "hirsute-feral" qualities, representing a form of raw, untamed, or unrefined sexuality. The simile "like Bluto's jaw" further emphasizes this primal, perhaps even aggressively natural, aspect. This initial image represents a "transportive, exoticism-preserving standard" that the poem suggests is in tension with the prevailing aesthetic. The central inquiry of the poem is then articulated: "but how long / until the gooseflesh monocrop... kills web travel / to pre-Soviet hearths..." The "gooseflesh monocrop" serves as a powerful metaphor for a standardized, artificially perfected, and potentially mass-produced aesthetic, specifically in a sexual context, aligning with the "infant-bald standard" of Western hegemony. The parenthetical "already in HD on war-torn / goat farms" extends the critique to the global reach and potentially exploitative origins of this pervasive aesthetic, suggesting its widespread dissemination even in unlikely locales. This "monocrop" is depicted as an encroaching force that threatens to "kill web travel" to alternative, culturally distinct forms of experience. The poem expresses a longing for a past represented by "pre-Soviet hearths / of creaky woodcraft where / we can suckle iron-fierce maternity?" This final imagery suggests a return to a more fundamental, less mediated, and culturally specific form of origin or connection—one characterized by a rugged, authentic, and "iron-fierce" quality, directly contrasting with the homogenized, "razored" perfection symbolized by the title.
Thematically, the poem engages with the dynamics of cultural hegemony and resistance in aesthetic and sexual domains. It highlights a perceived conflict between a specific "Armenian porn's hirsute-feral standard"—which the poem presents as embodying a particular kind of "exoticism-preserving" and raw beauty—and the "diversity-killing hegemony of the West’s infant-bald standard." The "Kardashian Razor" thus becomes emblematic of a cultural force that seeks to homogenize and alter natural forms to fit a prevailing, mass-produced ideal. The "gooseflesh monocrop" underscores this fear of a singular, dominant aesthetic wiping out variety. The poem interrogates the sustainability of culturally specific expressions of sexuality and beauty when confronted with globally disseminated, technologically enhanced (HD) standards. The yearning for "pre-Soviet hearths" and "iron-fierce maternity" suggests a desire for a return to cultural roots and a more authentic, less commodified or altered, experience of sexuality and connection, implicitly valuing cultural particularity and natural forms over a globalized, uniform aesthetic.
cultural hegemony, aesthetic standards, pornography, authenticity, diversity, globalization, cultural critique, Westernization, homogenization, sexuality, media influence, modern beauty, resistance, exoticism, cultural particularity, bodily aesthetics.