Istvan Bio 8

Let us workshop this author bio about a mate-poacher thriving in a time where victimhood is the most valuable social capital!

M. A. Istvan Jr.’s quadruple-minority status has enabled him to flourish as a ruthless mate poacher, now that victimhood is the most valuable currency in all but a rare few jujitsu gyms and nursing homes around the country. Despite the concealed nature of ovulation among humans (at least in contrast to their chimp and bonobo sisters, whose vulvas flower out Barbie pink for the entire week of their fertility), Istvan’s gene-hijacked drive to mate enables him to sense with statistically strong likelihood when even a niqabed passerby on a windless day stands ripe for impregnation. As soon as the technology for transforming boys to girls penetrates deeper than today’s clumsy surgeries and feminizing hormones (a playing-field-opening time he foresees will roughly coincide with robots reliably passing the Turing test), Istvan expects his uncanny gift will work not just for biological females, but also for the best players of the imitation game.