Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher
Let's workshop this poem about a man whose approach to sex is part chimp (grooming you with little consideration for personal space) and gynecologist (spreading you without any nipple play).
scent of the day: Triad, by Bortnikoff
Triad (2020, Dmitri Bortnikoff—a woody-floral fragrance that, through its celebration of pink rose in all its fruity-sour-green (and later soapy-sour-green) glory, transports me (as does Dia Man to some extent) to the Sino-Thai setting of Bruce Lee’s The Big Boss—
gasses the nose with a nectar-grass merger of leafy-lychee May rose (buzzing with Spring vitality) and several oud varietals that, although high-potency and dosed with quite a heavy hand (in a good way), could make those who associate oud with the cowpat-barnyard aromas characteristic of unaged Assam oud think they have been shortchanged since they each tilt deeply into the green-vegetation territory (especially by the lemon-eucalyptus Sri Lankan oud, which brings facets of honey tea and even coffee bean, but also by the tonka-reinforced burley-tobacco combo of mossy-mildew Thai oud, which brings facets of fruit rot and even root-beer sarsaparilla, and—in what needed to be included if only to honor the Chinese Mafia the fragrance name calls to mind—pine-herbal Chinese oud, which brings facets of green peppercorns and even wet stone),
this mutually-reinforcing rose-oud interplay (both reinforcing especially one another’s vibrant stemmy-green aspect) scattered into immense projection by a lemon-leaf magnolia whose fruit-spritzer effervescence plays a big part not only in reinforcing the white-grape sparkle of the May rose but also in making Triad both highly luminous and projecting (one of the strongest projectors in Bortnikoff’s lineup, in fact)
and yet anchored in a phenolic-astringent aura that perhaps contributes the most to the gasoline facet I pick up (rubbery-industrial Sumatran benzoin, a form of benzoin whose vanilla-almond facet is recessive and whose styrax-varnish facet is prominent, plus wine-barrel crocodile wood, a lacquered-parchment oud-adjunct—also known as Indonesian Bouya or white oud—not to be confused with the less-valuable oud filler Gaharu Buaya that sometimes gets called “crocodile agarwood,” plus musky-leathery hyraceum, mineralized excrement that tilts more in the creosote and burnt plastic direction than in the poop and colonoscopy direction)—
the overall result being a rose-oud fragrance that, although more celebratory of rose than even the rose-richer Oud Maximus (which, tangled in orange-spicy-skanky complexity, lacks Triad’s dialed-in purity of focus, where a busybody plurality finds itself corralled into a minimalistic-seeming unity that would make Raymond Carver proud), does not relegate the ouds to second-fiddle status, a fact that (as I suggested above) could easily go unappreciated given that the bitter-vegetal presence the oud blend imparts (especially the star oud here, Sri Lankan oud) carries the whole quite close to leafy-twig staples like Amouage’s Beach Hut Man (a fragrance that even those informed enough to know about the various species of oud, such as the sinensis and crassna and perhaps subintegra species we get here, and those careful enough not to build a monolith of oud around the Assam-malaccensis variety would never associate with oud);
the overall result being a fragrance that, although convenient (and not wrong) to describe as a hyper-detailed 8K zoom-in on May rose (resolution so crystal-clear it is like seeing the borders of contact lenses against the film star’s sclera), is in reality a mutually-reinforcing oud-rose interplay in which the various bitter-botanical ouds (second element in the triad) amplify the May rose into Taif-rose intensity without spoiling its distinctive delicacy or creating some synthetic caricature (a feat achieved through the tension between the airy sparkle imparted by the magnolia, which together with May rose constitutes the first element in the triad, and the tarry-ferality of the hyraceum-bouya-benzoin combo, which is the third element),
a feat that for whatever complex tricks of the mind evokes an array of visuals from the Pak Chong shooting location of Bruce Lee’s 1971 breakout hit (cloudless skies of washed-out blue stark against background mountains; dusty ochre roads lined by the wooden carts and makeshift stalls of Chinese-emigrant vendors under the meager shade of swaying coconut palms; sun-drenched sugarcane fields and expansive green lawns; Theravada monks bowed in robes of saffron orange; bleached Thai temples of breezeblock ventilation; tropical florals tucked behind ears and woven into hair) and particularly to the end fight scene on the manicured grass lawn of his enemy’s compound (only here, given the impact of the magnolia and May rose, Bruce struts in not while eating what seems to be pork rinds out of a brown paper bag but rather while sipping a BoKu, a now obsolete white-grape adult juice box from the baggy-suit nineties of Richard Lewis shoulder pads).
Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher Parting her thunder thighs, head gobblers, with the simian bluntness of stirrup sterility even in margarita-hut camas, his fidgety love—fingering for lesions, tonguing mucus like a cocaine cop— was autism undercover as fear (but it tickled her jail-worthy kink).
"Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher" is a disturbing and highly transgressive poem that plunges into the murky depths of sexuality, personal compulsion, and the intersection of fetish with professional identity. It operates as a piece of **erotic horror poetry**, using explicit and often repulsive imagery to create a sense of discomfort and ethical unease. The poem's power stems from its unblinking portrayal of a taboo subject, forcing the reader to confront the abject and the biological realities of risk and consequence.
Formally, the poem is remarkably compact, achieving its intense effect through a dense concentration of highly charged vocabulary and jarring juxtapositions. The opening lines immediately establish a graphic and clinical tone: "Parting her thunder thighs, head / gobblers, with the simian bluntness / of stirrup sterility." The phrase "simian bluntness" describes the man's actions, imbued with a primal, almost animalistic quality, while "stirrup sterility" evokes a cold, medicalized environment, directly contrasting with the intimacy of the sexual act. The enjambment creates a breathless, almost frantic rhythm, mirroring the intensity of the scene. The comparison of the man's "fidgety love" to a "cocaine cop" meticulously "fingering / for lesions, tonguing mucus" is particularly unsettling. This simile merges the act of lovemaking with a forensic, almost compulsive examination, rooted in his **autistic tendencies and a fear of sickness**. His actions are portrayed as **unsexy and clumsy**, driven by a compulsion he rationalizes as caution, rather than predatory intent.
Thematically, the poem explores a deeply problematic dynamic where the man's neurodivergent behavior is pathologized in a typical context but, paradoxically, indulged here. The core of the poem's thematic tension lies in the final lines: "his fidgety love... was autism undercover as fear / (but it tickled her jail-worthy kink)." This highly controversial statement introduces the idea that his **autistic traits, manifesting as a specific type of anxious or clumsy love-making, are what specifically align with the woman's "retard kink."** This reveals a disturbing complicity and mutual descent into morally ambiguous territory, where her particular fetish finds gratification in his unique presentation of intimacy. The title, "Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher," adds another layer of unsettling irony and ethical complexity. A special-ed teacher is typically associated with care, understanding, and the nurturing of vulnerable individuals. To juxtapose this profession with such a graphic and ethically dubious sexual encounter creates a profound **cognitive dissonance**, highlighting a stark disjunction between public persona and private pathology. The **speaker** of the poem, the poetic voice, functions as an observer who unflinchingly presents this dark intersection of desire and pathology, rather than being a character within the narrative itself. The poem ultimately serves as a stark and challenging exploration of the perverse aspects of human desire, the unsettling nature of secret fetishes, and the potential for dark psychological undercurrents to reside beneath seemingly normal veneers.
erotic horror, sexual transgression, fetish, pathology, power dynamics, dehumanization, medical imagery, neurodivergence, complicity, moral ambiguity, dark sexuality, psychological exploration, disturbing imagery, taboo, cognitive dissonance, perversion, hidden desires, **autism, retard kink, clumsy lover, unsexy behavior, poetic voice.**