Even on Dawns Less Spectacular
Let's workshop this poem about the mundane indignities and quiet moments of defiance in daily life.
Even on Dawns less Spectacular
His disheveled head, wherein still echoes
the sound of his bed slippers shuffling
the gapped hardwood of the pre-dawn hall,
is burrowed into blue-collar forearms
folded against the toilet cabinet groaning
from the hypotenusal lean of his dead bulk.
Eyes closed to keep tethered to sleep,
he rolls his hips around with care until—
hips pointed sharp to the back right,
as if a model striking a sassy pose—
liquid on liquid sounds, no longer liquid
on porcelain or linoleum or grocery plastic.
Upon the silence his hip-shaking frees
not last drops but what would have been,
with patience, another few-second stream.
But stubborn that the flow has to be done,
the nude man dribbles a few shuffles past
the start of the bedroom carpet even.
As he lies turned from the grey brightening
the drapes, drips that come even on dawns
less spectacular grow the saffron stains.
These two he blames on his wife. Monthly
they end-for-end the one-sided mattress,
and he will be damned if he ever pissed it.*This poem appeared in Vitamin ZZZ (2018)
Painting: Farm Near Duivendrecht, in the Evening (1916) by Piet Mondrian
In "Even on Dawns Less Spectacular," M. A. Istvan Jr. presents a poignant, unflinching portrayal of the mundane struggles and indignities of daily life through the lens of a working-class man. The poem opens with a vivid image of the protagonist's disheveled state, evoking the exhaustion and disarray of pre-dawn rituals. The shuffling of bed slippers across a worn hardwood floor sets the tone for a morning routine marked by a palpable sense of weariness.
The protagonist’s head, "burrowed into blue-collar forearms," highlights his physical and emotional fatigue, while his "hypotenusal lean" against the toilet cabinet emphasizes the awkwardness and discomfort of his position. Istvan's attention to detail captures the raw authenticity of the scene, where the man's closed eyes signify a desperate attempt to cling to the remnants of sleep amidst the demands of waking life.
As the man rolls his hips, his careful movements betray the intimate, unglamorous reality of his bodily functions. The transition from "liquid on liquid sounds" to the silence that follows signifies the cessation of urination, a mundane act that the poem elevates to a moment of introspection. This act, though ordinary, is rendered with a delicate touch that underscores the protagonist's vulnerability.
The stubborn insistence on completing the flow, despite the body's natural resistance, symbolizes the man's broader struggle against the constraints of his existence. His dribble-stained path back to the bedroom carpet, a trail of daily drudgery, speaks to the relentlessness of his routine. The man’s return to bed, where he turns away from the brightening dawn, captures his resignation to the day ahead.
The saffron stains on the mattress, which "grow" even on less spectacular dawns, represent the physical traces of his struggle. These stains, blamed on his wife during their monthly end-for-end flipping of the mattress, reflect a deeper undercurrent of denial and displacement. The protagonist’s adamant refusal to accept responsibility for the stains, insisting that he "never pissed it," underscores his need to maintain some semblance of dignity and control in a life that often feels uncontrollable and degrading.
Istvan’s poem is a study in the interplay between the mundane and the profound, where everyday acts are imbued with existential weight. "Even on Dawns Less Spectacular" delves into themes of weariness, denial, and the relentless passage of time, offering a raw, empathetic glimpse into the life of a man navigating the quiet battles of daily existence.
M. A. Istvan Jr., Even on Dawns Less Spectacular, daily struggles, working-class life, mundane routines, existential reflections, bodily functions, weariness, denial, passage of time, raw authenticity, poetic portrayal, blue-collar forearms, morning rituals, intimate vulnerability.