Beatitude
Let’s workshop this poem about the hometown addicts we all know and love: those whose buzz-killing better-than-thou preaching (after only a few days of sobriety) is as reliable as their relapse
scent of the day: 1805 Tonnerre, by BeauFort London (lime-and-gunpowder-filled olfactory rendition of cannonball warfare between ships in the Battle of Trafalgar)
Beatitude Not even thirty-six hours sober, on what you have many times called (did you forget?) “the path of total self-surrender,” and here we are—back to delusion’s preachy playbook: uncontainable thoughts that you are a saint, albeit one (so says your humility) in utero.
"Beatitude" explores the intersection of addiction recovery, self-deception, and the allure of spiritual transformation. The poem addresses an individual newly sober, less than "thirty-six hours" into recovery, yet already slipping into familiar delusions of grandeur. The title, "Beatitude," evokes notions of blessedness and spiritual elevation, contrasting sharply with the reality of the subject’s fragile sobriety. The speaker’s tone carries a mix of irony and frustration, challenging the individual's tendency to leap prematurely into self-righteousness or spiritual enlightenment.
The poem critically examines the pitfalls of early recovery, where a sense of newfound clarity can easily morph into a kind of self-congratulatory delusion. The reference to “the path of total self-surrender” suggests that the subject has embraced a recovery philosophy—likely rooted in spiritual or religious language—meant to facilitate humility and acceptance. However, the speaker questions the sincerity or depth of this commitment, highlighting how quickly the individual reverts to "delusion's preachy playbook." This phrase captures the tendency to replace one form of escapism (substance use) with another (self-aggrandizing spirituality), suggesting that the underlying issues remain unaddressed.
The second half of the poem shifts to the internalized, self-flattering thoughts that characterize the subject’s mindset. The notion of being "a saint, albeit one... in utero" illustrates the paradox of this false humility: the individual sees themselves as on a sacred path, yet acknowledges (though perhaps disingenuously) that they are still in the early stages. The metaphor of being "in utero" underscores the naivety and premature nature of such self-perception, pointing to a desire for sanctification without enduring the necessary trials of self-reflection and sustained effort.
"Beatitude" ultimately critiques the tendency to embrace spiritual narratives prematurely in the process of recovery, revealing how these narratives can serve as a new form of denial. The poem exposes the tension between the genuine desire for self-transformation and the ease with which the ego distorts that desire into self-glorification, even as the journey has only just begun.
sobriety, recovery, spirituality, delusion, self-surrender, false humility, addiction, self-deception, early recovery, spiritual transformation, ego, denial, self-reflection, beatitude, sanctity.