Ass Lips
Let's workshop this draft from the Beacon Speaks album of a song skit about a man with more than just Dr.-Nowzaradan-level troubles
Ass Lips
I just wanna be chillin and relaxin.
Do I really need to hear your mouth yapping?
Enough talk—ra-ra-ra—to blow a gasket.
“We got ice-cream” all enthusiastic.
Wrappers crinkling and soda cans crackin.
Every floorboard step makes a racket.
Bed reinforced with steel brackets.
Night breathing be alarmingly sporadic.
Its not asthma-allergies yo you’re massive.
Thick? Bitch you bigger than my mastiff.
And yet “bad chick” is on your back tatted.
What ever happened to just calling it “fat bitch”?
I can push aside how your not active
and your walrus-aspect that’s unattractive
and how banging you means first getting blasted
and the eventual airlifting through the attic
and how I’ll have to go the route of ashes
since I can’t afford goliath-ass caskets.
Even though I can live with all of that shit,
still I wonder most night on my mattress
the same shit while I’m on the toilet crappin:
namely, how you got the nerve to be askin
for a handout and the status of my assets—
“Mama always wanted me to live lavish.
That means all the latest purses and fashions;
shrimps, and fried chicken in a basket;
mac-n-cheese, all the sides, nothing lackin.”
Yo I didn’t get to finish my question.
How the fuck you got the nerve to be askin
for a handout and the status of my assets
when I tell it to your face you got ass lips?
I said it once I said it twice you got ass lips.
“Ass lips?”—Yeah, asslips.
Anal labia from frequent shafting.
Flatulence flutters them like napkins.
Bloomin layers be resembling cabbage.
Despite what you say they don’t just happen.
Not those—not the ones that be flappin.
“Oh these they just mean that I’m savage.
Hot girl shit” is how you imagine
such behavior that got that hole ragged
and has resulted in rectal prolapses.
“I take uppercuts” is how you be bragging
But then whose the one bleeding out her backend
talkin bout “Its just bowels impacted”?
All because of your dirty ass habits
behind my back motherfuckers be laughin.—
At myself yo flaber-fucking-gasted.
At those motherfucking asslips
