As if Goethe Once Ate Up a Black Queen’s Mic Time
Let’s workshop this poem about how relieving it is to have a socially-sanctioned umbrella excuse to get out of doing burpees and eating broccoli (and so many other tedious chores that improve us)
scent of the day: Portrait of a Lady, by Malle
First wear today, so I am not ready to review. Here are my notes though.
Rose pedestaled by spicy fruity ambery patchouli / considered one of the greatest rose perfumes of all time, similar to the night without the shitty oud / opens very close to another Turkish rose and patchlous scent: ELDO’s Eau de Protection. / They are so similar at first that it seems a rip off to go with the Malle, that money wise the ELDO is insanely more value for money / However, the Malle shows itself to be much richer (more incensy and resinous and middle-eastern) and realistic after 15 minutes, where for the next two hours the rose seems realer-than-real and with facets of wild rose honey / more serious and grave and operatic than eau de protection / becomes much more realistic than ELDO and has vibe of artisinal wild rose honey whereas Eau de Protection goes more bath bomb soap. / it is darker that the ELDO, magically dark / less tealike and more realistic than lyric man (and yet with less of a dark base than lyric) / like a real flower in 8k, stem and leaf included / fruity rose with dry earthy background, almost like cypriol is in with patchouli / better balanced than the ELDO: dark gothic and bright upbeat notes / dusty woody rose with bee pollen vibes / berry and black currant fruitiness / you get leaves and stems too—and spices, especially medicinal-cooling clove/ lemony frankincense embodies both the resinous and bright tension we see here / powdery musk from cashmeran silk / tuscan leather raspberry / potpourin feel from rose plus spices in drydown as naturalism unfortunately fades / rose is bright, and get more bath bomby, but not as much as eldo/ rapid transition to becoming skin scent / ambroxan carrying agent is clear here—but it is not overwhelming or one of the bad amber woods: gives an oceanic musk side / slight sour clovey element of Dev 2 and Serge Noire, which is superior scent both in terms of my taste and I would say perhaps objectively too / Dev 2 has rose and this all makes me think Serge Noire has some rose / I think Imitation Man is better on rose front and I might even prefer Lyric Man too overall (although not in terms of how specifically the rose is done) / Makes me really want to try La Douleur Exquise, which many say is a more masculine version of portrait—more sultry and earthy / La Douleur Exquise has an Anteaus castoreum that this lacks/ Portrait is not as loud or masculine as Promise
As if Goethe Once Ate Up a Black Queen’s Mic Time
Champing on great literature
in our hashtag illiteracy
makes us look like orangutans
with Rubik’s cubes, and so
for the few still fighting to crack
its necromantic nutrition
what better TikTok excuse
than to learn the broccoli—
dead, white, male—is toxic?
"As if Goethe Once Ate Up a Black Queen's Mic Time" is a sharply satirical and polemical poem that critiques contemporary intellectual and cultural trends, particularly the perceived anti-intellectualism and identity-driven rejections of canonical Western literature. The poem argues that the dismissal of "great literature" as "toxic" serves as a convenient "excuse" for a broader cultural illiteracy.
The title itself is a highly provocative and hyperbolic metaphor. It juxtaposes the revered German literary figure Goethe with "Black Queen's Mic Time," a phrase that immediately evokes modern cultural spaces, particularly those focused on marginalized voices and issues of representation and equity. The implied scenario—Goethe "eating up" mic time—satirizes the idea of historical Western figures somehow monopolizing contemporary discourse or overshadowing other narratives, even in an anachronistic and absurd way. This sets a tone of direct confrontation with current cultural debates.
The poem proceeds to characterize contemporary engagement with "great literature" as a form of "hashtag illiteracy". The simile "Champing on great literature / in our hashtag illiteracy / makes us look like orangutans / with Rubik’s cubes" is a central, derisive image. It suggests that modern individuals, due to their superficial engagement with knowledge ("hashtag illiteracy"), are incapable of comprehending complex intellectual works ("great literature"), making their attempts appear as futile and clumsy as an orangutan trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. This paints a bleak picture of intellectual decline.
The poem then introduces a small, beleaguered group: "for the few still fighting to crack / its necromantic nutrition." This phrase imbues "great literature" with a mystical, almost forbidden power ("necromantic nutrition"), suggesting it holds profound, life-giving sustenance that is difficult to access but vital. The reference to "the few still fighting" highlights the perceived marginalization of those who value this intellectual pursuit. The final lines deliver the poem's core satirical argument: "what better TikTok excuse / than to learn the broccoli— / dead, white, male—is toxic?" Here, the poem directly targets the reasons for this abandonment. "TikTok excuse" immediately points to a superficial, trend-driven form of justification. The metaphor of "the broccoli— / dead, white, male—is toxic" is a powerful and cynical summation of how canonical Western works are often categorized and dismissed in contemporary discourse. "Broccoli" implies something inherently good or nourishing but rejected for being unpalatable. The labels "dead, white, male" are presented as the convenient, pre-packaged reasons for deeming this literature "toxic," thus providing an "excuse" for intellectual disengagement rather than genuine effort to "crack its necromantic nutrition." The poem thus skewers what it views as a performative and ideologically driven rejection of the literary canon.
satire, literary criticism, cultural critique, identity politics, anti-intellectualism, literary canon, Western literature, cultural literacy, hashtag culture, TikTok, academic discourse, intellectual decline, performative activism, contemporary poetry.